A year ago, Maria Paseka was training for the 2020 Olympics and trying to earn a spot through the World Cups. In 2019, she won gold on vault at the European Championships but later that year went to the World Championships only as an alternate and was struggling with her vaults at multiple competitions. Her last competition was the Baku World Cup where she got injured and placed 11th in the qualification. She was also not included on the Olympic-training squad by the national team staff. She opted to take a break and said she would start training again in the next quad. At the moment, she is on the reserve national team but has not started training yet. In an interview to the Olympic Channel, Paseka said she is considering retirement due to her injuries.
At the moment, she is still focusing on rest and recovery:
“I took a break in order to think whether to come back to the sport. Mostly, I focus on myself, take care of my things, grow my Instagram, and go to the gym sometimes because I need to do back exercises after the surgery. My back is fine because I don’t run or tumble and feel fine. Although there are periods when I don’t build back muscles and it can start hurting. Svetlana Khorkina told me to never forget about my back, always do the exercises and maintain the muscle strength, otherwise there could be more serious issues in the future.”
She thinks the secret to longevity in the sport is enjoying both the training and competition process. However, for her, the enjoyment is mixed with pain and fatigue:
“Yes [I enjoy the training], but it’s becoming hard for me mentally and physically. When I come into the gym, my body feels as if it can do things like it did at 18, at 15, at 16. But I already can’t do them, it doesn’t work, and I get upset. It’s hard to deal with this. When I was 18, I was able to not go to the gym between camps and after a week of rest, I would come to the practice and do my job as if I was in the gym every day. If I’ll do this now, I won’t be able to do anything [in the gym]. With age, it’s harder for the body to recover. And, of course, my surgery has an effect on it. For a long time, I was able to feel the metal structure in my back and it was bothering me, I felt like in the movie “Alien”. There’s something foreign in my back. With time, of course, I got used to it but at first, I was scared of vaulting even though all the doctors said that everything was fine – the fear was still in my mind. [Now] I feel it [the implant] when I sit on a hard chair and lean back or when I lie down on the floor. I have to put something soft under. But overall, I started forgetting, that there’s a foreign body there.”
When asked if she is considering retirement, Paseka said that logically, there is not much point in staying but the decision is too hard for her:
“Yes [I am considering it], after all, I’m 25 already, I went through a back surgery and couldn’t qualify to the Tokyo Olympics because I didn’t get enough points. There’s no point in staying for another quad.”
“When I’m asked about it [retiring], I want to cry, I gave 20 years to the sport, my whole life was in it. It’s hard to leave the work that you love. For now, I can’t imagine living a regular life where I will just need to work, where there will be no adrenaline, no competitions. After all, I would leave my family in gymnasts, my friends from different countries – Ukraine, Bulgaria, Israel – would leave my teammates. I don’t even want to talk about it because I’m afraid I’ll start crying.”
After the surgery, she wanted to come back in an attempt to win gold at the Olympics:
“Both before and after the surgery, I said that I had to try and then decide whether to retire, in order not to have regrets and say to myself: “I could do it, why didn’t I?” That’s why I decided to try accomplishing my dream – to win gold at the Olympics. But, I guess, it’s a sign from above that I need to stop, that the third Olympic Games are not for me. I started making many mistakes at competitions, stopped getting in the top three. At first, I became eighth, then fourth, then I injured my leg at the Baku World Cup. After that, I was depressed, I kept crying for several days, I was very upset. I was upset because I couldn’t understand why this was happening. I guess my body is changing, it’s hard for me mentally and I can’t manage.”
Paseka hopes to try some other activities while she’s taking a break and she doesn’t yet know what the future holds for her:
“I want to try learning snowboarding. I’d like to try skydiving but I’m not sure my back will allow it. I want to start dancing but this also depends on my back because my lower back doesn’t move, I might not be able to do sharp movements as supposed to. I also like high speed and I would really like to buy a motorcycle but my dad said he’ll kill me if I do.”
“I decided that for now, I’ll rest, sleep, recover, and won’t start working yet. For now, I’ll focus on myself. Of course, I’ve thought about getting into coaching. I like working with kids but I haven’t yet decided whether I’m ready to become a coach.”
