Nabieva: Not getting to the Olympics really defeated me

Tatiana Nabieva gave an interview to Elena Eremina, for Eremina’s vlog on Youtube. In the interview, Nabieva was especially open and raw, talking about how not getting to the Olympics crushed her, how lonely she feels sometimes, and how she wants to be a coach but doesn’t want to feel the disappointment when a gymnast she’d coach decides to quit gymnastics.

Q: Who signed you up for gymnastics? How did this happen?

A: My mom. She first brought me to rhythmic gymnastics, her friends advised her because I was hyperactive, too much. But there are two kinds of gymnastics, I was first brought to rhythmic. I remember well how I was brought to our old sports school. I didn’t even enter the gym, some coach came up to us, lifted my leg, and my leg came up to here [points to around 30 cm from her head]. They said, no, you are not right for this, you need the other door. The artistic gymnastics gym’s door. I liked bars and trampoline right away. Well, everyone likes trampoline. Bars were fun to climb.

Q: What do you think about before competitions?

A: About the competition. Before the competition, I only think about that competition.

Q: But what if you have some problems in life, how do you manage before a competition? Do you just forget about it?

A: For a moment, yes, I forget. It’s not like they disappear, problems are problems, but when you have a competition, you manage to forget about it for a while.

Q: What is the secret of your successful career?

A: Actually, I don’t know how it all happened because I never thought I’d be able to get to the European and World Championships. Because I can, for example, train for a while and then leave, to rest or something. I can’t say that I change my mind a lot, well, I can but only with things. I could, for example, train for a week and then call Vera Iosifovna [Kiryashova, Nabieva’s personal coach] and say “I have a fever” or something like that.  Well, ok, stay home then. Or I can put things off and then come and do my assignment and everything goes well. Step by step, slowly. Of course, without my coaches, I would have never achieved this, they helped me a lot, both in life situations and in gymnastics. They truly replaced my parents.

Q: What step was missing for you to get to the Olympics?

A: A small one. A small step. I guess, I didn’t have the right mindset, or, rather, the belief in myself and strength. I didn’t get to the Olympics because at some point I really fell apart. It didn’t depend just on me, a lot of things contributed to it, I won’t tell all the facts. This really defeated me. Both in my athletic career and in general, it really defeated me and I guess, I didn’t have enough courage to overcome something or someone.

Q: How did you manage to hold on? There were difficulties, ups and downs, injuries. What made you stay afloat all this time?

A: The thought that the Olympic Games are the last step in my life, in my athletic career. I think any athlete, any gymnast thinks only about one thing, one goal – that’s the Olympics, the dream of your whole life. Even when you do not want to do something, you keep going and it doesn’t matter what difficulties, what events there are, you still continue till the end. And believe me, I did continue until the end, even when I was removed, I didn’t give up. I got a knee injury. It so happened that I still needed to tumble, to do my routines. I didn’t give up, I tumbled, but it didn’t matter anymore.

Q: Tell me about your biggest achievement and your biggest failure?

A: My biggest achievement was, of course, the team medal at the World Championships, the gold. That was 2019 and we still don’t have a gold medal after that. Of course, this was such an explosion of emotions, we truly trained until we couldn’t anymore. Of course, for me this was a victory, it was a victory for all of us. My failure was also the 2010 Worlds. I was competing at a senior competition like that for the first time, I knew I was really well prepared. There are different situations. You know you’re ready today but then you come to a competition and fail. It’s still inexplicable to me what happened at the 2010 Worlds. But I was really well prepared.

Q: What are the advantages and disadvantages of gymnastics?

A: The advantages are that I became a person, literally. I didn’t get lost in life. I know that many of my school friends have such a difficult life.

Q: Yours isn’t easy either.

A: Yes, I agree. But I’m talking about what would have happened if I wasn’t a gymnast. I would have been lost completely. My parents are not rich. In school, our class consisted of the wildest kids. I would have been lost, I think. And gymnastics, the fact that my coaches were strict with me, taught me, took me in, didn’t allow any weaknesses… I have everything, I think. The disadvantages of gymnastics are, of course, that you can train for many years and not achieve the most important thing. But that largely depends on yourself. Or maybe on gymnastics, since artistic gymnastics is one of the most injury-prone sports and you don’t know what can happen. For example, it’s all good today but tomorrow you get injured before some important competition. And that’s it, everything can be destroyed in one moment and you don’t know when it can happen.

Q: If not gymnastics, what would you do in life?

A: I haven’t thought of anything but singing. Everyone’s fed up with my singing.

Q: So, you’d be a singer?

A: Yes. I actually love singing. When I was five, I kept singing to my mom all the time. We had audiotapes then, you put one in and sing. We had Enrique Iglesias tapes, I adored him. I would sing in whatever language he sang – English, Spanish, whatever, I’d sing it. I told my mom that I wanted to sing. And, of course, the question was about money. Well, ok, no, then. And then gymnastics appeared.

Q: Do you see yourself becoming a coach in the future?

A: It’s my destiny to be a coach after I stop training. I study at a sports university as well. Gymnastics became my life. But I once told Vera Iosifovna: your generation came, I looked at it from the outside… I knew I was a drama queen, such a drama queen that I would honestly smacked myself once. I come to Vera Iosifovna and say to her: Vera Iosifovna, you work so hard, you some to the gym every day. And you work from scratch, coach kids, tell them how to do everything. I say to her: I don’t want that. I don’t want to dedicate my whole life to coaching a kid and at some point, she will tell me “I don’t want it”. If a kid doesn’t want it, you can’t persuade her otherwise. And a new girl will come and you will need to start everything from scratch with that new girl. It’s like coming to first grade again. I don’t want that, honestly. I’m thinking about studying psychology.

Q: Psychology? What about singing, though?

A: Well, I want to try psychology, at our university as well, I want to try.

Q: What’s your favorite holiday and why?

A: New Year, I guess, because I have a tradition, I visit my mom for New Year, we all gather there. It’s a small gathering but it’s a holiday when we are all together.

Q: What do you do in your spare time?

A: I can say that now I like to stay home. I like cleaning, doing something else at home. How was it before? I could easily go out after a practice, meet my friends, hang out with them, for sure. I was almost never home. People change with time, according to situations. Whatever happened in your life, that’s the situation, and you tend to change. So, now, for example, I mostly stay home.

Q: Who do you most expect and want to feel support from?

A: My parents.

Q: And what kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

A: With my mom – a good one. We don’t see each other often but when we do, we can always talk. I’m not in touch with my dad.

Q: What kind of qualities a person should have for you to like him?

A: I guess, his intellect. I think that a man should be smart. He should know how to make jokes, he needs to be strong. For example, if I have a bad situation, he should be able to protect me: Tanya, we will get through this together, everything will work out, don’t worry, I’m here. For me, such words are really important. To feel safe. No matter how strong I am, and you know, girls, I’m strong, I still want to be a girl with another person, you want to be a girl, be happy. Every girl wants to be happy.

Q: Do you have a motto?

A: No, I don’t have any mottos. If I have a set goal, I will move towards it. I mostly believe in myself, not in anyone but just in myself. I had a breaking point after the 2012 Olympics, in 2013. It was Universiade in Kazan and I thought – well, it’s a great chance to make up. Kazan was for me making up for some mistakes. I was at Round Lake, every day, it was hard for me, difficult, but I kept telling myself: you are the only one who needs it. And believing in yourself is the best thing that can give you strength. And a set goal. A meaning. You have to have something to live for, to move towards, to achieve something. If you have that, you have a goal, you believe in yourself, that’s it. Everything is connected, it helps you.

Q: Can you say you are happy?

A: In some sense, yes. I’m happy that I have two feet, two hands, a head, I see and hear, I can do something. I’m happy because I’m Nabieva. I have few friends with whom I can be open, pour my soul into them. I haven’t thought about that before. One person will stay with you no matter whether you have money or not. Today you’re on top, tomorrow you can be at the bottom and one person will stay with you. I’m happy that I have, maybe, four such friends. And I’m unhappy because… it’s lonely…

Q: What about your friends, though? They support you.

A: Friends… You know, they can support you and help in something but… At 25, you want a family, to have someone by your side who will not care how many mistakes you’ve made.

Q: But parents always understand. You said you have a good relationship with your mom.

A: I try not to draw them into my problems because they have their own. Why cause my mom to break? I don’t want it. Even if I will be really hurt or lonely or something else, I know that I’ll eventually get through that. Time heals, as they say. Although I don’t think so. I had one situation, a lot of time has passed, but it did not heal me.

Photo: Russian Artistic Gymnastics Federation