Viktoria Komova recently competed at the Russian Cup where she took bronze in the all-around and silver on bars. Despite not quite having her full difficulty back and still recovering from a toe injury and bronchitis, she’s currently one of the Russian top all-arounders and is practically guaranteed a place on the Euros team. Shortly after the Russian Cup, Komova gave an interview to SpotsDaily.ru, talking about her comeback, dealing with media attention and aiming for Tokyo. In this interview, Komova opened up about being unable to get a correct diagnosis for a long time and how the coaches did not believe that she was in a lot of pain.
Q: What is it like – to compete, to climb the medal podium again?
A: The experience is all gone and it’s hard to get it back. I have to focus more, to pay attention to my feelings more. There are a lot of people around. You begin to get lost on the competition floor because you are looking at everyone and getting distracted. I only had three competitions this year, that’s why I’m walking around a bit lost.
Q: After retiring, did you dream about gymnastics at night?
A: No, I didn’t. I was very upset because of the injury and because I would miss the Olympics in Rio. Honestly, I didn’t even want to come back to the gym. But when the problems with my back began to go away, I immediately decided that I would come back. Because it’s the adrenaline, it’s positive emotions. No matter how difficult practices are, you still come to the gym and want to compete.
Q: Many athletes complain that they end up not being ready for the “real life”.
A: Yes, I was completely lost and didn’t know what I was generally going to do. I still don’t know what I’ll do after retiring. Although I have some ideas. Of course, it’s hard. I started training at 3 years old, when I’m in the gym, I feel like fish in the water. I’ve been training for 20 years already! I’ve never lived a day in another world.
Q: There’s also the loneliness, you’re left on your own…
A: Of course, there’s loneliness. For example, the fifteen of us live at the training center, talk all the time. Then I come home and I’m alone. I can hang out with my friends a bit but it’s not the same. You’re bored, you don’t know what to do. You can’t find yourself. You feel like you’re a tiny person who’s all alone. There are a lot of things around you but you don’t know where to go. The problem is finding yourself in life.
Q: If we’re talking about the injury, what was your official diagnosis?
A: Stress fracture of the fifth vertebrae. For three years, my back was constantly in pain and I kept adding hitting it with impact from tumbling. And, as I was explained, the vertebrae eventually broke.
Q: Was this diagnosis a big blow for you?
A: During those three years my back was constantly examined and I was getting the same diagnosis – Schmorl’s nodes. I was constantly scolded for not training because of pain. Nemov had five such nodes. When I was already unable to get up in the morning, when I was dragging my leg behind me, then we decided to get a check-up in Germany. They immediately confirmed this diagnosis [stress fracture]. I started crying right there: you didn’t believe me while this was happening to me! That means I was tumbling with a fracture! The most hurtful thing was that my coach didn’t believe in me.
Q: When did you realize that you would not be able to continue competing?
A: I was doing a difficult element in practice and realized that I could not go to Worlds or Olympics in such a condition. I’m an adult and I was already assessing the situation pragmatically: I would do one element and any moment my back could get jammed.
Q: Was the decision to retire hard to make?
A: At that time it was easy. By that point, I was not ready mentally for practices and I was just tired of enduring the pain. The injury was just killing me.
Q: What did the treatment entail?
A: Nine months without training, injections, physical therapy, massages, orthopedic corset, endless realigning of the spine. And lots of rest, I had to forget about gymnastics.
Q: What did you feel when the doctors allowed you to train?
A: I immediately wanted to go to the gym. I was in Germany at the time and we already did some exercises to condition the back and the legs, to stay in shape more or less. I came to Russia happy, called my coach and said that I was allowed to train. He said: “Ok, let’s try”. I was training on my own and sending him videos and he noticed some mistakes.
Q: Was the recovery difficult?
A: Yes, very. It was my personal initiative – to learn whether I can do it. I came to the gym with my dad, he was holding me, conditioning me, watched my nutrition. Of course, I was talking back: “I’m a big girl, I know what to eat!” Of course, there were scandals. I was told: “Do you not want to train, do you not want to compete? Watch your weight!” After all, I gained a lot of weight, it was almost a year without training. I had to lose all the extra weight.
Q: How are things now?
A: I’m eating everything I want, there are no restrictions. If the weight climbs up, then, of course, I need to limit myself. If it’s fine – then I can eat dessert but have to give up something else.
Q: Did you get your tattoo “Fight till the end” after the recovery?
A: No, I’ve wanted a tattoo for a long time. Even when I was only 15, I tried persuading my dad. And I got it after the Rio Olympics when we were in Novosibirsk. We went to walk around the city center and were brought to a tattoo salon. It was the dream of my whole life. I’m asked sometimes if I regret it. I reply: “Not a little bit!”. I really like it. This phrase is a bit of a motivation, it’s personal.
Q: Some are saying that the London Olympics ruined you.
A: Yes, I put all my strength and emotions into it. I guess the biggest mistake was that I came back to the gym only two weeks after the Olympics. I needed to go on vacation and not to touch the apparatuses. After that, my legs and backs began hurting and that’s how everything started. I had no rest at all. there was a visit to Putin and all sorts of events, the media kept contacting me constantly.
Q: We understand.
A: I kept turning my phone off so that no one would bother me. I just wanted to be at home, with my parents, to get enough sleep, but I was being pulled in different directions… And with all that going on, I went to a training camp, I was so exhausted…
Q: Were you somewhat disappointed with your silver in London?
A: Of course, I was. I knew that I had 150% of a chance to become the all-around champion. I was first after the qualifications, but during the final, I messed up on vault. And that was it, I lost the gold.
Q: Have you watched that vault again?
A: Yes, of course, a million times, I kept looking for a mistake. I guess I wasn’t ready mentally.
Q: Don’t you think that your story is somewhat similar to that of the figure skater Yulia Lipnitskaya?
A: There’s nothing in common. The sports are different, everything’s different. But she became an Olympic champion, her career was a success.
Q: Do you think Alina Zagitova shouldn’t have gone to Worlds after winning the Olympics?
A: It was clear she’d fail there. You’re giving your all at the Olympics and it means that you’ll be recovering for a year. The pressure is just unreal. It’s very hard to start again afterward – you can’t make mistakes in your new status. People see you as an Olympic champion, the responsibility is much bigger. I think this shook her. You can’t go to Worlds right after the Olympics.
Q: Some journalists have called your comeback to elite sport a gamble.
A: I agree! I didn’t know whether I could, I was taking it one day at a time, I went to the gym and trained. I went to the training camp and it seemed fine, things went well. So it went on and on. Yes, it’s hard. I can’t say that everything happens when you just snap your fingers. Sometimes it’s really hard to overcome myself. But right now I’m doing what I like. Even if I won’t be able to succeed further, I won’t be sad. I got a chance and I used it. If my back will start hurting again, that’s life. Now I’m calm about this.
Q: Is your goal now – the 2020 Olympics?
A: Yes, I want to try. But there’s still a lot of work ahead of me. Don’t forget that the “little ones” are growing up on the national team. No one will put you on the team for your past accomplishments. You have to show results here and now. You have to earn the right to go to the Olympics, or the World or European Championships. No one will say that Komova will go because she’s the silver medalist from the 2012 Olympics. It’s all according to who deserves it most. That means I have to fight every day and keep proving that I have a right to go to the Olympics.
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