Paseka: In 2017, I wanted to win Worlds and retire

Maria Paseka gave an interview to Gymnastika, the magazine of the Russian Artistic Gymnastics Federation. The interview took place right after the Russian Championships in March.

Q: Masha, admit it, were you thinking about competing at the third Olympics two years ago when you won your second Worlds gold?

A: No. I went to Montreal with just one thought – to finish beautifully. I wanted to win the World Championships and retire. But when I came back from the clinic where I had the surgery and started living the life of a regular person, I realized: I can’t live without gymnastics. I was bored.

Q: Was the back pain not bothering you anymore by that time?

A: No. The doctors who did the surgery in Germany said: “You can train, you can compete”. And back home and on the national team, everyone supported me. My mom and my coach have always said: “Listen to yourself first of all”. So, I did. I watched competitions, one of the girls uploaded something on Instagram – and my heart jumped, I wanted to compete again so much! My mom and my coach have always told me: “Listen to yourself, first of all”. And so I did. I watched a competition – one of the girls uploaded it on Instagram – and my heart jumped, I wanted to compete so much! After all, I’ve always had a dream in this sport and it never went away. It was like something clicked in my head: perhaps, I should try? I kept this thought aside for a few days in order for my emotions to calm down and all this time my inner voice was telling me: if you don’t try, you will regret it later.

Q: I suppose the dream is the Olympic gold?

A: Yes, I really want this medal! But I understand now that the way I trained before was not enough. I need to work more on execution, on quality, I need to upgrade. But that’s hard. Sometimes I am close to giving up now, I cry and say: “I don’t want it, why did I come back.” Such depression happens sometimes. But then I get up and keep working. I want to walk my path in the sport until the end. To prove – not to someone, not that I’m such a hero, I came back after surgery, admire me – I have to prove to myself that I can do it. Or can I? That’s the question.

Q: I’ve just thought about Oksana Chusovitina for some reason.

A: Yes, it’s easier psychologically when you see a living example in front of you proving that nothing is impossible. But for me, Oksana is a person from another planet. I once asked her: “Oksana, how much longer can you go?” She just laughed in response. I greatly respect her desire to keep competing. If one’s body can handle it and they feel they can do it, why not? But there are only a few athletes like that. I don’t think I can keep vaulting until her age.

Q: Did you get back into the training routine fast?

A: I got surgery on December 13th of 2018 and on May 9th I already traveled to a training camp with the team. So, it was a bit more than half a year without training. But now it’s much easier for me to train. Although, sometimes, when I land on a hard surface, I am cautious and trying to protect my back. And I’m not as young anymore – 24 years. My coaches and I plan all practices based on how I feel. If my back starts hurting a bit, we lower the training load.

Q: You haven’t competed for a year and five months. What did you feel during the competition [at the Russian Championships]?

A: I was very nervous during the podium training. I’m standing on the vault runway and I’m having jitters, my legs are really shaking… In the qualification, on the other hand, I didn’t have enough adrenaline, I was trying to hype myself up but didn’t manage to. I even fell on the first vault. Andrei Fyodorovich Rodionenko and Marina Gennadyevna Ulyankina were asking me: “What happened to you?” I’ve never had problems with this vault before. And I was really shaken by this fall, I even had tears in my eyes. I remember how I used to vault, I know how I can vault. I thought this would always continue like that and then suddenly… There’s a very fine line between confidence and arrogance and I guess I stepped over the line. It seemed like everything was easy and I need to get myself together in order to vault, and I am a bit lost… And I’m lacking competition experience now. When I was in the flight phase, I understood that the vault could be saved. I have a very good natural spatial awareness, and even when something’s wrong – my hand hurts or something else – I can still figure out what I need to do and save it. If I competed regularly I would be used to it and everything would work out automatically – to squeeze something here, to relax something there and I would’ve landed on my feet. But I just got scared because of not being used to it.

Q: Does life in the sport get easier when you have a lot of experience?

A: I wouldn’t say so. Perhaps, it’s easier mentally because you have a clear understanding of why you are suffering through all that. But physically it’s not that easy. I don’t know why. I guess it’s the age. I used to be able to stay up half the night and then train as usual in the morning. But now, if I won’t get at least 8 hours of sleep, I won’t be able to do anything in the gym. So, I carefully follow the routine now. I also run. I started running at the May training camp in Mallorca and keep doing it on every training day. I don’t do it just to be lean and strong but also to warm up all the muscles well. Our vault specialist Artyom Igorevich Voynov is being very cautious about me in this regard. After all, it’s truly easier to work if you keep your muscles warm. Before, I somehow didn’t give it much thought. But now I started understanding the point of practices and every exercise differently, why I am doing it. I also think a lot about things in daily life. Yes, right now everything is secondary compared to the one dream but what will happen when I retire?

Q: And?

A: I’d like to try starting a business, one that I would enjoy and that would bring me financial stability, so that I could give everything necessary or, if I manage, the best things, to my future children. But, everything in moderation, of course.

Q: And what about having family, and children, and gymnastics? Nowadays, women are not afraid to come back after having children, they don’t want to sacrifice their personal life and motherhood to elite sports.

A: Everyone makes their choice. But I wouldn’t be able to do that. If I create a family and have a child, I’d like to take raise him myself, give him all my time, especially when he’s still little. Perhaps, this desire comes from my own childhood. My mom left her parents’ home very young, she had to work a lot and I wanted to spend more time with her so badly. I think it’s better to focus on just one thing.

Q: It’s a year and a half left until the Tokyo Olympics. Do you already understand how to contend with your competitors, how to win over them?

A: My main competitor has always been Simone. As the last World Championships showed, she started making mistakes, too. I think that right now we’re at about the same level. And any of us can fall or make some other mistake. I need to win through consistency and clean execution.

Q: And can you add something new in terms of difficulty?

A: Why not? There are many aspects of a vault – the entry, the position of the legs in flight and so on. Simone, with her height, has a shorter vault – one-two and it’s over. It’s as if I was vaulting over the men’s table because I’m taller and my flight trajectory is longer. Or I need to shorten my vault… That is, there are many details. I don’t yet know which option we’ll decide on. I have thoughts and preferences. If I’ll manage to do something new – good. But’s it’s hard, too. If not – then we’ll work on perfecting what I already have and focus on the quality of the execution. For now, I’m doing the same vault that gave me gold in Montreal, only I’m trying to do it much cleaner. After the European Championships, I want to come back on bars. I’ve already talked to Marina Gennadyevna about creating a new routine. Generally, I’d like to do three events again – bars, floor, and vault. I want to really help the team.

Q: In London, at your first Olympics, you were 16, and now you and Aliya are the oldest on the team.

A: That’s right. I joke sometimes that she and I are like moms for the girls. Although we all get along well, Nastya Iliankova even told me at the training camp in Spain: “Masha, I’d never believed that we have a seven-year age difference”. And I don’t want to believe it either. I’d like to stay 18 forever. And you know what I noticed: the kids are different now compared to the time of the London Olympics. I remember how we were stressed out before the Games: the Olympics were ahead of us! All the thoughts were only about that. Now, I see that the girls are calmer before the competitions, they can distract themselves if needed, take a phone and play a game, and they set up for the competition this way. This is an advantage, of course. It’s better than sitting and thinking and burning out before the competition. And in the gym, we’re one team. There is a different relationship, we’re all equal.

Q: Is this season’s preparation focused on World Championships?

A: Not only. I also need to qualify to the Olympics. After the Russian Championships, there are two World Cups, in Baku and Doha. And I’d also very much like to make the teams for European and World Championships. Even though it’s individual European Championships, when you’re on a team, it’s a completely different atmosphere. You support others and they support you, and it becomes easier.

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1 Comment

  • Running every day because it is her job and it help training. Exercise is the minimum expected in the job of professional sportsman. Masha is being professional. Why can’t more athletes do this. Mustafina is very overweight. She has much fatigue in competition like floor. Masha’s back also hurts so why does Aliya not run? It is not professional. The judges will start talking.

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